lousy lousy ;x

great. guess wad?
i had a fight with my friend.
it's not a snathcing apple fight. it's a big one.
BIG HUGE MASSIVE. etc etc.
bt i noe everything was my fault.
cuz.... wad i have in my mind was. that she's a B plus friend. bt to think it carefully. i think she's a really good friend.
well. she really cares bout me . when i m sick and away from school, she's the one who keeps my books and calls me during the night to see whether am i alright or not.
she's really an ideal friend in my state of mind.
bt. i dont know why i reacted CHILDHISHLY, in front of her and to think about it.
i feel so stupid and useless?
so i apologized to her, noticing i was wrong.
she forgive me =D
this is not the important part.
wads happening next is only hollywood E true story.
cuz i am mad at her, and i told smthing naughty to friend A.
who knows, friend A got mad at me for some.... unlikely reasons, and told my fren.
my fren got all..... pissed off, and got mad at me.
this is big time mad. not that OH, I M MAD. not that kiind, she really is mad.

i dont even realise that until.... my other good fren, B told me that. friend A also told me that thru Msn. i was.......
SHOCKED.
really really shocked in front of the monitor.
i was. i really was ... yea. shocked.

that time, i feel so,..... empty.
it's like i lost friend A and my fren.
it's like i m unwanted.
a lousy shit. a garbage of wadever.

by that time, i called friend B... and cried eveything out.
B called me to calm down bt i cant i cant.
i just cant.
how could u calm down when someone important to you is leaving you behind?

i cried a whole lot out of my sockets.
its painful and my eyes are red and big now.
;(
anyway..... i called her and sms her lots of times.
bt she didnt answer.
she blocked me in msn.
so i am too desperate.
B tried to convince her to have a talk on a phone with me.
bt my fren was too mad and aint talkin to me.


at last. i knew if i am not geting back wif her right now.
i wont be sleeping tonight.
same as the following night, and another. and the other night.

then my dad saw me criying and asked me what happened.
i explianed it all to him.
so thats why he used his hp and call her and told her wad happened.
i explained to her and she forgive me.
=D
i still thought she wont forgive me.
i have to admit.
i said lots of hurtful words bout her. lots and nasty words.
i am a sore loser.
i dont deserve friends when i knew how bad was i.
i was the lousy cheese behind the row .



bt who knows?
she forgived me.
and..... i was really really happy and glad i didnt commit suicide in the room just now.
guess, things just turn out in a good way??

i learnt my lesson.

i really did.

sorry.
things like that wont happen again,

your friend.
venetia.